We Can't Stop Here...this is DQ Country...

In line at Dairy Queen. The woman in front of me was charged incorrectly on her credit card. They then credited that purchase back to her card then charged her the right amount. A line formed because she wants to make sure the kid at the register understands something that she clearly does not.

Lady: You should have just given me the change because now the bank is going to take out another $50 for the second purchase. I get the money back, but it's still a pain to wait for it. They did that to me at the gas station. I had to talk to my bank because I got gas and I just figured I only spent $12, but I couldn't make another purchase later...

I try to make eye contact with the kid working who hasn't said a word since the lady started talking. He's zoned out like he has a brain slug from Futurama under his hat.

Lady:...my card had actually expired so they confiscated it but they ended up giving it back. But then a week later is when I got gas again and the same thing happened and I had to tell my bank. I forgot why they take that out but they told me at the bank that they do, so when you do another charge, that takes another $50 out which is kind of inconvenient. I just want you to know that because that could happen to someone else.

She waits a second for a reaction from Ruprecht the Monkey Boy, who stares blankly at her. I am not more irritated with this fast food zombie than with her at this point. Someone behind me sighs.

Lady: So...I'm just saying that you should have just given me the change because It's going to be $100 now...and like I said, I don't know why they do it, but my bank explained it to me...

Alright...Here we go.

Me: Ma'am?

Lady: ...And I...what?

Me: Certain companies put an additional preauthorization on credit card purchases for fraud protection, they claim. It's to ensure that the cardholder actually has the funds for the purchase. Some gas stations started doing this because people were getting gas on credit, then pulling the money out before the charge cleared. Can...

Lady: Okay yeah that's what the bank said with the extra charges...

Me: Yes, they reserve the money, and then it drops off within a couple of days depending on your bank's policy. But none of that is relevant or really matters, because Dairy Queen doesn't do additional preauths, ma'am. No fast food joint does. If they did, broke people like me wouldn't eat here and they'd tank.

Lady: But they should still give change in the future...

Me: Businesses don't usually give cash back on credit card purchases because that opens the doors for people to scam them with stolen credit cards or just with getting cash on credit lines...

Lady: Who does that? I mean, really...

Me: I would've 6 months ago for quick cash if it were possible. Now I'm on the straight and narrow, trying to do right...and I need a fucking chicken finger basket.

May I Never Be Complete

On Thursday of last week, I successfully completed treatment at Lifetime Recovery. I immediately moved into a sober house, and I am currently seeking employment.

I should be dead. I don't mean that in an "I've been so lucky it's crazy!" way, I mean that I overdosed and stopped breathing 4 months ago. I don't know why I'm here while others more deserving are not, but I'm grateful I am. I believe in life, love and people again...and if you know me, that's not something I would have said over the past 10-15 years.

I took a bus to the grocery store yesterday, bought two bags of stuff and came back home. While walking from the bus stop the few blocks home, I was reminded that this is part of real life and shit we have to do on a regular basis. Real life...that has stopped for everyone else just because I went to rehab for 90 days. It made me appreciate again the massive support and attention I have received over this process.

I want to refrain from thanking everybody individually as it will turn this blog into a lame-ass Oscar acceptance speech. "I'd like to thank God...and my agent Bubbles McGee." My mother and father are awesome people who never turned their back on me and continue to go out of their way to help me out. Obviously, I can't thank them enough for what they've done.

I lost contact with most of my bar friends...but, they're bar friends. When I was teetering on the edge, I still had a few friends that cared and never gave up on me. Going through this has strengthened our friendships for the future. You know who you are, and you don't give a shit about a shout-out, do you?

I need to single out someone, though.

Everyone who has met Windy knows that she is the kindest soul you will meet. She has overcome more turmoil and life bullshit than most of us will ever experience, and she's kept going. She, however, made the horribly generous decision to help me get on my feet when I lost everything...giving me a place to crash and support I didn't appreciate at the time. I will NEVER be able to repay her for giving me a chance...and forgiving me for things I said and put her through. Thank you so much, Windy.

My favorite characters in movies, books and graphic novels are anti-heroes: charmingly flawed and grungy characters that find redemption...eventually. You think I want my story to be cut tragically short by my own actions? That would be heart-breaking and awful. I don't want to be an example of what not to do anymore. I don't want the love and support you all have given me to be for fuck all.

Thank you, guys.

"Well, let's not start sucking each others' dicks just yet." - Mr. Wolfe

(couldn't resist.)